Could We Get a Phone Book Over Here? 

I have always been short.  My whole family is short, but at five feet tall I definitely take the cake.  Friends still ask me occasionally if I need a phone book when I sit down at a restaurant.  Which for some reason was the first thing I thought of when I sat down to dinner at the Grand Street Café with Caitlin Maloney, a handful of professors, and our visiting scholar, Reza Aslan.  A brief moment of panic followed when I realized that my feet couldn’t touch the ground when I was sitting in my chair—maybe I hadn’t come so far from those booster seat days after all.  And what does one talk about with a visiting scholar?  For that matter, what does one talk to with a table full of PhD holding professors?  I had done my homework: researched the scholar, wore an outfit that could be interpreted as casual or dressy, picked out exactly what I was going to order based on the online menu, and strategized with Caitlin about where we would sit (while we waited for everyone outside the restaurant, having arrived twenty minutes early).  But even though I have always wanted the opportunity to get to know the Rockhurst faculty a outside of the classroom, and I was thrilled to find that Dr. Aslan did work both in English and Theology (my majors), I still felt like a little girl again in the presence of all those academians. 

Thankfully, that was when Dr. Glen Young, a theology professor at Rockhurst, put my anxieties to rest.

“I’m going to sit by the students!” he said.  He sat by Caitlin and me and informed us that he too was a little intimidated by the scholar, so sitting towards the end of the table was a good strategy, because then we could just introduce ourselves and then be free to make small talk with the people around us.  We laughed and started to relax a bit.  Reza Aslan came in and we introduced ourselves and he asked about our majors, putting us at even more at ease with his laid-back, friendly demeanor.  The conversation then drifted to topics in the field of religious studies, and Caitlin and I—much more relaxed now—were free to listen without the pressure of having to chime in…and as we were listening, we realized we recognized a few of the things our dinner companions were talking about!  We whispered excitedly about how we knew who Bruce Lincoln was, and we had read one of Mircea Eliade’s books.  Granted, we knew nothing about first century Palestine or the ups and downs of attending academic conferences, but we were happy for small victories. 

By the end of the meal, we were on cloud nine from on our experience of keeping company with academics (this is revealing my inner nerd who can’t resist a scholarly event) and the delicious chocolate cake that the professors INSISTED we order since it was on Rockhurst (this is revealing my inner college student who can’t resist a free meal).  The lecture that followed on anti-Muslin sentiment in America was interesting and informative, and I have resolved to read one of Dr. Aslan’s books, How to Win a Cosmic War, as soon as possible. The meal was delicious, the speaker was amazing, and I am even more sure that someday I want to be able to keep up with all that intellectual conversation. 

So no, thank you, I would not like a phone book.